collab with chaos

I’ve heard people use the word CHAOS as a cuss, with an assumed connotation of contempt or disgust, and I’ve also heard people use the word CHAOS with an air of reverence and honor.

Being an artist, you have a certain inclination or attraction towards chaos, and you revel in your ability to dance with what is not yet known, seen, organized, or understood. People who live in a state of chaos can be praised as heros or geniuses, and they can also be mocked as improper or less-than humans who don’t have their sh!z together.

a conflict of ideals

The project COLLABWITHCHAOS began, naturally, during an incredibly chaotic time. In 2020, when I was a new mother to twin sons who, that time, were 2 1/2 and they were making the most brilliant art.Prioir to collaborating with my boys, I had tried to make scribbles myself in my drawings and paintings, or raw mark making, and when I watched toddlers do it, I was humbled.

a blank canvas

Being home with my children during quarantine and unable to go to my studio as often, I began to pick up colored pencils, markers, scissors, tape - and I began to collaborate with their mark making.I realized it was very fun, and even a relief, to be able to work with my children and work with such “simple” and immediate materials.I fell in love with this new “blank” canvas, where I could respond and play improv with their intuitive marks, rather than relying on my own hand to provide all of the unknown and known information.I fell in love with the pacing of this craft, where instead of spending days, weeks, and months on oil paintings,

i fell in love withCHAOS

I could mentally pass through a large variety of concepts very quickly.I fell in love with CHAOS; I understood she was infinite, massive, and with great worth. And though CHAOS wants to be seen, tended to, organized, or understood - CHAOS itself is not a curse. She may at times be a mess, but if so - she is a beautiful and blessed mess, and I feel honored, every time I get to dance with her, braid her hair, or lay in the lap of her nest.

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